Perfect Christmas
by xoRaining Diamondsox
Summary: AU: This was it. This freaking year, Christmas was going to be flawless, whether they knew it or not. Sora had never been so resolute. /companion fic/


**A/N :** Hey everyone! I'm back again with this little one shot. It's a companion one-shot to my multi-chaptered fic, LiD: Rise and Crescendo, but you don't have to have read that to understand this (mind you, the characters have a little musical finesse). It's kinda a gift fic, 'cause having one hundred reviews is awesome, so this goes out to all the lovely reviewers who got me there. And a special mention to **X-The Random Vampire-X**, for breaking into the three-digit realm. That's just awesome.

Anyways, I love all you guys, and hope you enjoy!

**Summary: **AU. . : complimentary.gift.fic : . This is it: this /freaking/year, Christmas was going to be /flawless, whether they wanted (knew) it or not. Sora had never been so resolute. » initiate « h a p p y -- h o l i d a y s !

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything. Not Christmas, not Kingdom Hearts, nothing from Rare, Ltd. I don't even have a Christmas tree. : (

* * *

_Perfect Christmas_

* * *

**.mission: initiate.**

* * *

This year, this _freaking _year, it was going to be perfect. Sora was absolutely certain; he'd stashed away all the knives (and he'd been out all morning smashing down icicles, dammit), he'd wrapped blankets and scarves (claiming they were 'festive decoration') around the heaviest blunt objects, and he was _not _going to let either or those two around any electrical equipment.

Winter and Christmas spirit may have been infectious to all, but Sora could not afford to lose his hawk-like supervision. Everything was planned to a _tee_ – with, of course, Kairi's invaluable help. This year, there would be no 'mysterious tobogganing accidents' (resulting in a knocked out platinum-head and a broken sled), no 'Christmas-tree-angels-of-justice' (giving a certain blond a swollen eye for a week) and _definitely_,_for sure_, those two _idiots _would play the game _properly_.

Casting a glance at the other two in the room, Sora sighed. Kairi, his girlfriend of three years, was curled up on the rug by the fireplace, flipping through _SpaceyGirl_. Riku, his childhood best friend, remained rigid in the armchair, sipping his hot chocolate and glaring at the wall. Poppy Christmas tunes were jingling from the radio, and Sora winced. The tension was thick enough to slice with a _knife_ – not that there were any, he reminded himself. _Remember what happened _last_ time_.

Five minutes… ten… an hour? Whatever, just when Sora was going to die from waiting, the garage door swung open with the sound of laughter and the stomping of boots. Jumping out of his seat, Sora exclaimed,

"Roxas!" Throwing his arms around the grinning blond ("Hello to you, too, buddy," Sora's mother laughed as she entered the house with Roxas' bags), Sora then grabbed his arm and dragged him into the living room. Still beaming, Sora babbled, "Roxas! Roxas, look, they're all here! Well, Tidus couldn't be here, which is too bad, 'cause you've never met him before – great guy, really – but you know, the usuals!"

Kairi jumped up and approached him with a loose hug of her own; she gave a cheerful, "Hey, Roxas! Long time no see, huh?" while holding him at arm's length. Roxas, hands in the pockets of his crisp khaki pants (how Roxas managed that, when he'd been on a plane for four hours), smiled and replied charmingly,

"You too, Kairi. Good to see you again."

Sora beamed. So far, so good. Turning slightly, Sora asked with only the mildest trace of apprehension (he'd talked to Riku about this before), "Hey, Rik! Look who – "

" – the cat dragged in?" Riku muttered under his breath. Sora scowled, and was about to say something when Roxas interrupted by replying coolly,

"Well, it's nice to see you haven't fallen to pieces yet, em – "

"_Ahem_!" Sora exclaimed, already feeling exasperated. "_Anyways_, how about we go unpack, huh, Rox?" Roxas, blatantly ignoring Riku, turned to shoot a smile as bright as Sora's at his cousin.

"Yeah, sure, great."

So Sora grabbed Roxas' bags despite his cousin's protests, and began climbing the stairs. On the way, Sora passed his mother (now heading downstairs to start up dinner, no doubt) and he locked eyes with her identical ones for a moment. She smiled warmly and comfortingly, patting her son on the back lightly as she passed.

* * *

**.objective one: hostage arrival.**

* * *

Once Sora had reached his room (they had a guest room, but Roxas had never liked it in there), he dumped Roxas' bags on the bed. Roxas, rubbing the back of his head, said,

"Ah… thanks, Sora. I'm thinking," Roxas bit his lip, and Sora knew he_ suspected_. Indeed, Roxas continued, "I'm thinking I'd like to go to bed, you know, long trip…"

"Sure!" Sora enthused. "But just one _tiny _little thing…" Reaching into the pockets of his grey cargo pants, Sora pulled out a baggie. Pushing it to Roxas, he coaxed, "Go on! It's tradition!"

Roxas, heaving a sigh, stuck his hand into the green silk bag and pulled out a little slip of paper. He studied it for a moment, before scowling and sighing exasperatedly, "Are you _sure_ you don't wanna change the rules? Can't we trade?"

"Nope!" Sora exclaimed brightly, bouncing off Roxas' bed. So far, so good. Ruffling the blond's hair as he past, Sora paused at the door. "Oh, uh, one thing." Roxas looked up from the piece of paper he had proceeded to tear into little shreds with an unhealthy amount of satisfaction. "There'll be rules this year… make sure you follow them, 'kay?" The ocean of Sora's eyes seemed to hit an ice age. "_Okay?_"

"Of course!" Roxas responded hastily, running a hand through his hair. Still looking slightly alarmed at Sora's aggression, Roxas added meekly, "Sure thing, 'cuz. I'm on it._ Serious_." Sora watched Roxas plop onto the bed, and spread out his arms like wings.

Turning his head sideways, Roxas smirked at him, and asked, "You're taking the cot, right?"

Sora laughed, feeling much lighter now.. "Obviously. Rich boy like you is probably too fair for the floor, or something." Sora swung the door shut just as the pillow hit it.

* * *

**.objective status: complete.**

* * *

So began Sora's fool-proof plan. _Gift time_. Before either of them had had much time to jump down the other's throat, or stab at each with their hidden knives and subtle words, before _shit could go down_, everyone would buy their respective presents.

It would go totally smoothly. When Sora's mom dropped the four off at the mall, they split into pairs: Kairi and Riku, Sora and Roxas. However, before they separated on their way to shop, Sora cleared his throat, shaking his Santa hat out of his eyes. Dammit, Sora loved his Santa hat. So much that he had bought one for everyone, and he had forced them all into wearing them. Kairi, in a festive spirit, had added an additional broach onto each hat: sparkling, flashing little Santa faces that declared, "HO HO HO" when pressed on.

Well,_ Sora _had thought they were a good idea. And since the mall was so crowded, why not wear the hats as a _great _way to find each other? Now, needless to say, Riku and Roxas were not too happy with this arrangement – but hey, at least Sora was getting them to agree together. In fact, if he antagonized them together enough, they might just form a bond by hating Sora.

Anyways, Sora smiled around at them all devastatingly.

"I wanna read the rules _one last time_ before we buy our, uh, wonderful gifts." Sora motioned for them to gather around, and he whipped out a piece of paper from his pocket. "_Okay_, here we go: this year, the following conditions are _not _acceptable in gifts, understand? _Not acceptable_. I'd like to remind you_ all _that it's your own fault this thing is so long." Sora hoisted himself so he was sitting on the ledge of the mall-fountain, and cast a quick stern glare at everyone – particularly the two sulky teenage boys in front of him.

"So," Sora said, flourishing the paper. "Nothing _pointy_, nothing implying or inferring violence, nothing unclean, nothing_ used_, nothing toxic, no 'experiments', nothing 'new age', nothing 'specialized', nothing frayed, nothing tattered, nothing insulting, no vulgar words, no obscenities, nothing explicitly of the wrong gender, nothing of no gender, nothing implying worthlessness, no references to past failures, nothing referring to families – past of present, nothing overly scented, nothing poisoned, and, uh…_just get something 'nice'_,_please_."

Then, with an additional overly-cheerful grin, Sora waggled his finger and added, "And if you don't, you'll be on Santa's naughty list, I swear! I've got connections!" The cherry on this proverbial cake of good humour was when Sora pressed the button on his hat, emitting a loud HO HO HO for any and all to hear.

Roxas grabbed Sora's arm, and began dragging him away. Kairi, beaming, gave Sora a thumb's up as she wandered off with Riku. _Here we go_.

* * *

**.objective two: pre-emptive strike.**

* * *

"Sora!_ Trust _me, I totally know what I'm doing!" Roxas reassured as he scooped up a Sora the Explorer backpack and continued strolling down the department store. Sora frowned – he liked kids, but sharing a name with some lame TV show character was pretty bad. Sighing, Sora subtly texted Kairi. _How is Riku doing? Found anything?_

No response. Sora felt slightly worried, but was distracted by Roxas browsing through boxers. "No!" Sora exclaimed, slapping Roxas' hand away. "Remember what happened _last _time you chose that _specialized_ pair for… you know!"

Roxas smirked, a look that suited him almost as well as it suited Riku. "Sure thing… after all, its nothing _gender-incorrect_, right? And that loser is the biggest pans – "

"Roxas…"

"All right, all right. No need to state the obvious, rig – hey, dude, check it out!" Roxas grabbed a movie from the rack they had just passed. "Do you know how _long_ I've been looking for this?" Sora 

squinted, trying to make out the obscure design of the cover. While he examined it, Roxas wandered off to the side.

Sora snapped to attention. "Roxas! _Roxas_! Get back here, buddy!" Roxas, unfortunately, was no where to be found. That _idiot_! Where'd he go? What sort of horrible concoction could he be up to, what if he'd run into the others, what if –

_CRASH._

"ALL SHOPPERS: ATTENTION PLEASE. REMAIN CLEAR OF THE CENTRAL SQUARE OF THE MALL UNTIL THE MATTER OF THE CHRISTMAS TREE HAS BEEN SETTLED. DO NOT STEAL CHARITY PRESENTS. DO NOT THROW ORNAMENTS AT ONE ANOTH – YOU! PUT THOSE LIGHTS DOWN. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE."

_What the…?_ Sora was cut off from continuing by the abrupt entrance of "Jingle Bell Rock"… that could only be…

"_Kairi_! What? What's up?!" They had _specifically _agreed not to verbally call one another unless it was an absolute emergency! That – that lady on the over head speaker had sounded _angry_… maybe –

"Don't _you _yell at me! You were supposed to be looking after Roxas!" The hysteria in her voice was _really _beginning to make Sora panic. Sora swiveled his head around, and Roxas was no where to be found.

"Holy… crap. Whaddya mean… what did he _do_?"

"Oh!_Oh_! _'What did he do?' _he asks! I'll tell you what! Santa isn't coming back to _this _mall in a _long _time, I'll tell you _that_!"

Oh. Dear. Lord. "_No Santa_?! Whaddya mean, _'no Santa'_?_What did they DO?_"

Kairi laughed maniacally and hysterically, but Sora noticed that it wasn't coming through the cell phone anymore. Whirling around, Sora saw Kairi standing behind me, looking frantic. "_Look_– let's make _sure_ we _never, ever _end up in the same shop at the same time _ever _again with _those two_, got it?!"

"Oh damn… did they run into ea – "

"_COLLIDED,_ more like! Ha! Haha! This is _so freaking funny_! Why don't we head on down to base security, bail those _morons _out and _they _can explain what happened?!"

And so off went the two, down to said security center. There, the poor couple found the two poor teenage boys, sitting on plastic orange chairs like sitting in the "naughty" corner in kindergarten. Neither would look at the other: Riku had his arms crossed, glaring at the wall; Roxas had his hands shoved into his pockets, having the grace to look mildly ashamed as he gazed at his shoes. Riku had a length of silver tinsel wrapped around his neck in a no doubt hastily made knot, and Roxas had pine tree needles stuck in his hair. Not to mention both looked rather disheveled, and, well, black-and-blue.

Between the two of them, Sora could hardly bear to look. Only Roxas noticed Sora and Kairi appear at the doorway, and he gave a sheepish grimace at his cousin. Sora sighed.

And yet worst of all the damage they had no doubt caused: they had an extra Santa hat with them. A fat bald man wearing an official-looking uniform was sitting across from the two, in the middle of a lecture.

" – I'm telling you, in my day, this _never_ would have happened! _Right in front of Santa Claus_, you two_ hoodlums _just have to pick a fight with each other… do you have _any _idea how _scarred_ those children must be, seeing their Christmas _hero _fleeing at the site of two punks! And knocking over the Christmas tree! I don't _care _what your reasons were! You two deserve the black eye and bloody lips you've _oh-so-kindly _presented to each other this season! You – you… _no respect_!"

Sora tried not to whimper, but Kairi must have known, because she clung to his arm comfortingly anyways.

* * *

**.objective status: incomplete.**

* * *

Okay, okay, now it was time to chill after that _misunderstanding_ at the mall. _Apparently_, according to the resentful stories that Riku and Roxas provided, Roxas may have just _accidentally _said something that _may _have pissed off Riku, and then Riku's hand may have _suddenly _lost control and swung into Roxas' face, and then, whoops! Wouldn't you know it! The two had stumbled out of the department store and were in center square, Riku hot on Roxas' heels. Well, until Riku had _apparently_ knocked Roxas over and Roxas had answered by _attempting _to choke Riku with silver tinsel.

And then, in a desperate attempt to stop them, Kairi had pushed over the enormous Angel Charity Tree (of course, Roxas and Riku had no idea, and did still blame themselves for that). Poor old lady almost got caught underneath, but her grand daughter had yanked her out of the way, thank goodness.

But they were totally going to cool down now! Enter… the skating rink!

* * *

**.objective three: threat extraction.**

* * *

"We could totally make it to the championships like, this, babe!" Kairi cried in delight as she whizzed by Sora. Spinning around so she was skating backwards, Kairi spread her arms out to slow down. Sora smiled wanly at her, but wasn't completely paying attention.

This was going to go well. The first little detour had been a fluke; whatever! As Tidus would say. No big deal! So caught up in his little pep rally for himself, he barely noticed Riku glide up next to him.

"Hey!" he teased, skidding ice-flakes at Sora. "You know, I get the feeling you haven't gotten any better from last year." Sora, in spite of himself, scowled.

"I'll have you know I could whip your ass, easy."

"Yeah? Three laps around the rink, buddy. Let's see what you can do, huh?"

Sora grinned with the anticipation of the race, and the two of them skated to a common starting point. On the other side of the rink, Sora saw Kairi and Roxas gliding smoothly across the ice amongst couples, friends and families that had come to enjoy the seasonal sport. Roxas, looking – as always – like he'd stepped right out of the top-teen-fashion magazine (and yet somehow not looking metero – _how _guys like him and Tidus did that, whereas guys like Sora and Riku had no chance, was beyond him), and Kairi (looking as gorgeous as ever, in Sora's opinion) in her pink skating skirt and beige turtle-neck sweater.

They were chatting amiably together – Kai broke off for a moment, and wandered away to where the bathroom signs were hung (she made sure to lock eyes with Sora beforehand, though, but Sora was a bit busy at the moment). Roxas pulled up to another girl wearing a fluffy purple coat and skinny jeans, and was presumably charming this new girl. The girl was laughing, and Roxas kept smiling and 

flashing his pearly-white teeth. Sora smiled lightly to himself, before turning his attention back onto the race.

"On the count of three, then!" Riku declared, smirking at his brown-haired friend. Sora was looking determinedly forward, and on: "One…" Riku began.

"Two…" Sora bit his lip. Here they go.

"_THREE_!" They bellowed, and off they shot. Wind whipped by his face, running fingers through his hair and making his eyes water. His legs pumped harder, feeling the blood coursing through them, hockey skates soaring smoothly over the worn ice... he finished one lap… Riku was pulling ahead in a tight lead… approaching the end of the second lap…

"You_ ASS_!" The girl with the purple jacket called out, sliding right into Riku's "lane".

Riku was taken by such surprise that he _literally _tripped over his own skates, hit the ice and yet the momentum from the race kept him sliding a good four meters – only _just _missing the girl who was now glaring heatedly at him.

Sora, too, skidded to a halt as soon as he could and slid back to where Riku was scrambled at the girl's feet - Sora crouched over, and Riku was gripping the arm he had landed on rather tightly while looking up at the girl, flabbergasted. Sora caught the girl saying, "You total _creep_! Look, I know I'm hot, all right? But if I had known that you were _walking past our change room_, and… ewww! I _know _you've been checking out my ass, ever since you entered this rink – your friend, at least, had the heart – "

"Sierra."

Roxas, who was now standing on the outer path around the rink, leaning on the glass railing and shaking his head at the still-sprawled Riku. Sora noticed, with dismay, that Roxas' voice held the perfect amount of self-projected shame and deep flattery. To further Sora's discontent, a small crowd (mostly female, hearing the cry of their 'girlfriend' and all) had gathered around at Sierra's proclamation. "Sierra, please, leave me out… I was just…" Roxas bit his lip, pretended to throw an apologetic look at a murderous Riku, then dropped his gaze to the floor. "Riku," Roxas said to the floor. "I'm sorry, I just… you can't treat women like that… I just… agh." Dramatic sigh.

Sierra, flipping her brown hair over one shoulder, slid up so she could talk to him over the railing. "Oh, Rox, trust me," she began, looking at the blond admiringly. "Rox, its okay, you totally need better friends than guys like _him_ (she threw a disgusting, withered look at Riku) anyways." Then, with a coy smile, she pulled out a pen and motioned for his hand. Scribbling something on it, she said perkily, "Call me sometime while you're still in town. Maybe we can hang out. Its guys like you who remind me that not _all _men are total (another haughty glance at a now-standing Riku) _sickos_."

Roxas – who, to his benefit, did look momentarily surprised by the gesture – smiled enchantingly through his (fake) remorse, and replied, "Thanks. I'd like that."

"Bye…" Sierra gave a cute wave and skated off to a group of girls, who immediately pulled her into the center and no doubt bombarded her with questions. The crowd, who'd been watching in a mild tone of disgust, generally shot dirty looks at the lone Riku.

"Don't start checking _me _out when I'm not looking, freak."

"It's guys like you! I swear!"

"See, sis? I _told _you most men are pigs. Honestly."

Sora stood there, in total shock. Somewhere, a voice reminded him to skate next to Riku, and he was about to yell at them all in his friend's defense, when one girl called out,

"Hey, cutie! You wanna check out _my _ass anytime soon, I haven't got a problem with it." She gave him what she must have thought was a sexy pout, and was the last to disperse the crowd (sticking her butt out unnecessarily, in a very blatant way).

This, generally, turned Riku redder than any of the other comments. However, the humiliation turned almost immediately to anger, when Riku whipped around to face Roxas. Roxas, now barely concealing a laugh, clapped his hand onto the fuming Riku's shoulder.

"Buddy," he began breezily, now outright smirking, "You just have to learn some respect. I mean – _whoa_!"

_CRASH._

"Riku!"

Just_ what _Roxas meant, Sora never found out. Riku had grabbed the blond's arm from his shoulder, used it to flip Roxas over the railing and then slam him headfirst onto the ice. And now, as Sora gawked between the satisfied Riku, and a Roxas who was out as cold as the ice he lay on… well, Sora nearly bawled.

_Skating_. Friggin' _ice-skating_.

How… the…. wha… ahhh! Okay, two years ago, they'd gone tobogganing, and Roxas had "accidentally" knocked over Riku and thrown him down a hill. And okay, _last_ year, Sora had planned an organized snowball fight (stupidest idea in the world, he later realized) that had ended disastrously with Riku literally _throwing _Roxas down an enormous dune, and leaving the blond buried there for several hours. It wasn't until five cups of tea, three blankets, and one _long_ bath later that Roxas recovered from _that_ particular exploit.

Sora buried his face in his gloved hands.

It was incredibly lucky for him – or maybe not so lucky, dammit, she should have been here sooner – that Kairi ran over along the outer path until she was leaning over the railing to look at the three boys; the exact same spot where Roxas _had_ been standing, to be sure.

"What… who… Sora!" Kairi exclaimed, eyes bright. "I'm _so _sorry! I… everything was going so smoothly…"

"_Ahem_?" Riku asked, eyeing his two conscious companions suspiciously.

"Uh… Riku!" Sora burst out, looking stern. "Riku! Okay, what Roxas did was totally _not _fair – but… but… you practically put the guy into a coma!"

"Yeah, I know," Riku said flippantly with an apathetic shrug, leaning on the railing beneath Kairi. Kairi stood gaping like a fish. Sora hunkered down to kneel next to Roxas, prepared to pick him up – and force Riku to help – when a sudden whistle was blown.

"_YOU_!" a man in a bright orange jacket boomed as he skated over. "I will_ not _tolerate horseplay on my rink!"

Riku, to his credit, must have realized the urgency of the situation. Riku grabbed a hold of Roxas' feet, Sora grabbed Roxas' arms and the two scrambled off – staggering with the awkward weight of an unconscious Roxas between them; Kairi clearing the way up ahead with the screeching rink patrol officer in their wake.

* * *

**.objective status: aborted.**

* * *

Well, at least Roxas regained consciousness rather quickly. He had woken up on the bench that the four had decided to wait on while Sora's mother came to pick them up. Roxas was staggering a lot and Riku was still livid, but thankfully, Sora's mother didn't ask too many questions. She had always been understanding like that, Sora thought fondly.

That evening had been a tense one, what with Riku _and _Roxas now sleeping over in Sora's room. Riku's dad would be joining them for Christmas eve, but until then, Riku was free to go where he pleased. Thankfully though, Roxas had taken Sierra up on her offer (once he'd double-checked with Sora) and called her up. He'd spent a number of hours away from the house, leaving around four in the afternoon not returning until maybe ten at night ("She dragged me around to show me off to all her friends, yeesh," Roxas had confided in Sora privately afterwards. "Gold-digger, I swear."). Riku had lightened up considerably during those hours.

But now… now, they were definitely skipping the Christmas tree decorating (his mom could take care of that). After witnessing these last two horrific incidents, Sora was going to skip right ahead to what surely had to be the most innocent task of all…

… a timeless tradition, the sweetest of sweet, everyone's favourite Christmas dessert…

… a big-ass gingerbread house (some assembly required)!

* * *

**.objective four: nullify hostile relations.**

* * *

"Blegh… Cookie-Man. Want. Eat. Rikuuuu…"

"Sora, don't be lame."

Sora snickered juvenilely, but still glomped Riku with his raw vampire-ginger-bread man. Riku, in spite of himself, laughed and shoved Sora lightly, squeezing the gooey head on Sora's ginger-bread vampire. Sora pouted; Riku grinned. "That'll teach them to mess with Riku."

Sora rolled his eyes – "Yeesh, you just have to beat _everyone_ at _everything_, don't you?"

"Well, if you guys are just gonna throw yourself at my feet to be trampled…" Riku shook his head and smirked, before continuing to apply intricate patterns onto his ginger-bread guitar with a toothpick. They had, after all, chosen the shapes themselves: Sora, the traditional humanoid; Riku, a big-ass guitar; Kairi, a mistletoe (which she had dangled over Sora's head repeatedly until it had broken and landed cookie dough in Sora's hair); and Roxas, a flagged eighth note.

After fixing his vampire's head (mean old Riku), Sora placed it on the tray beside Kai's and Roxas'. The oven still needed preheating, damn; Sora started it up. Okay, now only Riku's left to go. The said teen came up beside Sora with his cookie, and placed it on the tray as well. Once he put it down, Riku said mildly to Sora, "You go on and help with the ginger bread house. I'll wait a few minutes then pop these in." Stupid responsible Riku. Always stealing Sora's thunder. Sora, contemplating for a moment, sighed.

"Sure – we'll try to leave something for you to do," Sora clapped Riku on the back and swung out the kitchen doors. Entering the dining room, he saw Roxas and Kairi at the round dining table, tools and decoration for the gingerbread house scattered over the table. Sora gave a cheery,

"Hey – "

"Shh!" came Roxas' reply, focus intense on the house.

Wandering over, Sora picked up a tube of icing and began drawing bricks onto the walls of the ginger bread house. Kairi was currently adding a fence of lollipops around the house, and Roxas was meticulously placing candy squares as shingles on the roof. Rolling his eyes, Sora began to work.

A few minutes later – maybe ten, which should have been weird but was more likely because of Riku's complete lack of skills at baking than anything else – Riku finally joined them. Probably too proud to ask any questions; he must've sat there figuring it out on his own.

Roxas barely glanced up when Riku entered, but Kairi gave a cheery smile. Riku grinned back –_ finally_, Sora thought with relief, _the Christmas spirit is getting around _– and picked up toothpicks and gumdrops. Carefully, he began constructing trees and street lamps, and the four worked in a peaceful silence with only Christmas carols playing from the stereo.

A while later, they heard a call from the oven: the distinct, annoying_ BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. _Having just finished the roofing, Roxas stretched and moved to go answer the call. Sora stood up quickly too, calling, "Rox! Don't worry, I got this covered – "

"Yeah, Roxy, wouldn't want you dropping anything – " Riku added, sneering slightly.

"Riku!" Sora interjected. "Guys – "

"Whatever; I've done plenty of cook – " Roxas snapped, completely ignoring Sora.

Riku laughed, "Suuuure thing. Bet you've never lifted a finger – "

Roxas stormed through the kitchen doors, and Sora sighed exasperatedly. Honestly, and it had been going so well. Well…_ at least the ginger-bread house is still in one piece, _Sora thought mildly, using cotton candy to pack snow around the base. Absentmindedly continuing his work, Sora was completely unprepared when he heard the call,

"You_ asshole_!" from the kitchen. Whipping around, Sora looked immediately at Riku – who smirked victoriously. Crap. Oh crap.

Rushing into the kitchen, Sora surveyed the damage. Nope, everything was in working order. Fridge, sink, oven, Roxas, tray… tray?! Human, guitar, mistletoe and… and… _eww_!

"Riku!" Sora bellowed from the kitchen. He distinctly heard Kairi smack Riku, and a sulking Riku reply,

"What?"

Roxas gagged. "What the _hell _is he trying to imply?! That asshole, honestly, Sora, I don't know what the _frig_' you're thinking, that loser… ugh!" Roxas picked up his obscene cookie – Sora cringed, hoping it would be destroyed before his mother got home – and stormed out the swinging kitchen doors. Wait. Into the dining room.

"Roxas!" Sora called out, hastily powering off the oven and shooting after his cousin. "Rox – don't you dare – "

– _POW – _

– _SMASH –_

– _CRASH –_

– _CRUNCH –_

– "Oh… shit."

Crunch? "Shit"? _Crap_… Sora groaned and sank into a kitchen chair, not even wanting to face the disaster outside. All that work… man! Now what?! No more gum-drop lane, or cotton-candy snow, or…

"You _idiots_! That was a tradition! A tradition!" Kairi's voice screamed. _SMACK. SMACK._

* * *

**.objective status: failed.**

* * *

Okay. If they could just make it through present-exchange, then they were home free. _And this one_, Sora thought, as he fumbled through presents late at night, _is gonna work_. There would be _no mistakes_, dammit. None. Except for… _ow_. Sora winced and sucked on the cut on his finger, re-taping the present. This – would – freaking – work.

Tucking the presents under the tree, Sora glanced at the clock. Midnight – Roxas and Riku were sleeping peacefully in bed. Getting up, Sora stumbled bleary-eyed up the stairs and collapsed onto his cot.

Almost there.

* * *

**.objective five: confrontation.**

* * *

The best time of Christmas! The one where all the effort went, where everyone tried their hardest, all those hours of wrapping and dollars spent…

"… Present time!" Sora declared happily, one arm slung around an equally ecstatic Kairi. Sora got the feeling she was projecting even more enthusiasm than usual, out of pity for Sora's mission, but he appreciated it all the same. She was curled up next to him on the couch, where Sora was sprawled out easily. Riku was sitting in the sole armchair closer to the hearth and fireplace – not that it was on, this early in the morning. Roxas was lying sideways on the love seat, taking up the entire thing.

It was a relatively warm day today… or maybe it was just stuffy inside, from all of the cooking that was going on for tonight. Either way, Sora opened up the large window to the outdoors – damn, his mom hadn't picked up the new screen yet. This one that was in was incredibly loose and flimsy… ah well. All the bugs were dead this season anyways, what with the downpour of snow this year.

Sora shifted so that he was standing, and proclaimed, "Okay! I'm gonna hand out the presents, and then we're gonna all guess who our secret Santa was this year, 'kay! No complaints? All right – great!" Bounding to the Christmas tree, Sora scooped up the presents and passed them around according to the tags. Over by the hearth, their stockings were hung and bursting with what looked like mostly candy. Even Riku and Roxas weren't too bad about that – they usually just gave each other a piece of coal, nothing too awful.

Not like _past _years, with actual presents. But now was not the time to dwell.

Once everyone had a gift in hand, Sora began again. "Okay! Well, me first, then. You know what… I think… my secret Santa was _Riku_!"

Kairi's turn: "Um… I was gonna guess Riku too, but my second guess would have to be you, Sora!"

Riku: "_Him_." Riku jerked his head in the direction of Roxas. Roxas, rolling his eyes, said lazily,

"Lemme guess… Reeking-poo?"

Sora blatantly ignored any hidden insults, nad beamed around at all of them, motioning for them to open up their presents. "I hope everyone remembered to sign their names!" He knew Riku hadn't, but he'd remedied that last night anyways.

Sora opened up his gift, and found a book of bass tabs and a new strap for his instrument. A cute, hand-made card was included, sealed with a kiss. Grinning broadly, Sora leaned over and kissed Kairi thoroughly. "Thanks, babe!" He said, but had to turn his attention back to the matter at hand. He motioned for her to open her gift – they'd planned this, right from the start – and she found a box of gourmet chocolates and a baby blue scarf and hat set. Kairi, equally pleased, squealed,

"Sora! My secret Santa, and the best boyfriend in the world…" she kissed him lightly on the cheek. Sora turned to look at Roxas and Riku, both of whom had gone ahead and drearily opened their gifts. No doubt they were reflecting on past years, in which they'd _somehow _ended up always drawing each other's names. Sora shifted a little uncomfortably – dammit, he hated being dishonest, but if these two would just _grow up…_

Ugh, goodness, the gifts they'd gotten in the past. The first year – two years ago – that they'd played this _slanted_ version of Secret Santa, Roxas had gotten Riku a simple bar of soap attached with a rather rude note regarding Riku's supposed 'foul odours'. Riku, on the other hand, hadn't given Roxas his present. So when Roxas was looking for it, Riku held a gift box in front of the blond. Suspiciously, Roxas had taken off the lid, and _POW!_ Riku's fist had come flying through the cut out bottom of the gift box, right into Roxas' flabbergasted face.

And so the "banned list" was extended.

So enter year two of this game, and Sora specifically told them to get something _real_, preferably something "symbolic". Holy crap – that year may have been even worse, considering the amount of _effort_ the two put into humiliating each other with their gifts. Riku had examined his first – he'd pulled out a pair of dazzle-grey boxers. Not bad… until he held them up and read what the _front _said… a sign all right, the design printed right on it… "HANDICAP ZONE."

Oh… but it wasn't over. Riku said nothing, only waited for Roxas to open his gift. Roxas, Sora remembered, pulled out a sleeveless t-shirt… and when he held it up, his too held a "sign" on it of sorts… a _target_, that's what. Riku had been completely prepared, for he quickly whipped out some rather heavy darts (that had coincidentally been resting behind him) and began chucking them at the blond until he nearly got an eye out ("Whoops," Riku had said lazily. "Guess I should work on my aim.").

Needless to say, a scuffle had ensued both years. On freaking _Christmas_, the idiots were beating the crap out of each other. But not this year – oh no. Sora had a _plan_.

And so, it was with growing excitement that Sora watched the two hold up their gifts. In Roxas' hands was a pair of woolen gloves, reading out "I'M SORRY". Riku, utterly confused when watching Roxas open his gift, carefully sifted through his. Riku had a cute woolen scarf that read, "LET'S BE FRIENDS".

Sora beamed (ignoring the incredulous look Kairi was giving him).

"See!" Sora exclaimed. "I knew you had it in you! Aww… tough love, all these years…"

Sora wasn't able to finish though, because both of his arms were seized and he was being dragged across the carpet. "Guys!" Sora burst out. "Guys, you – _oof_!"

The poor chestnut-haired boy had been thrown right out the flimsy living room window, and into the powdered, freezing snow. In his pajamas. And holy _crap_… it was cold…

"What are you thinking?" Roxas burst out angrily, leaning out the window. "Every single year… don't you _get _it, Sora?"

"Yeah – you've been rigging it! You – I can't believe this! Just _get over it_, Sor!" Riku burst out, also standing by the window.

"Three years later, he just doesn't understand – "

"Like I'd _ever _get something _'nice' _for you – "

"You're telling me; you're the most annoying person – "

"Shit, I know! I hate your _guts _– "

The two most have realized abruptly what they were doing – for as suddenly as they'd thrown the freezing Sora in the snow, they shut up and glared the other down. Riku was the first to storm off, grabbing the scarf and mitts Sora had made. Chucking them at his friend, Riku stormed off upstairs, most likely to change.

"Just come off it, jeez." Roxas scowled, and stomped off as well, into the kitchen for breakfast.

* * *

**.objective status: terminated.**

* * *

Sora was watching them both in awe, still in shock (partly from the fall, the sudden hit of cold, and the… they… they had…) when Kairi climbed out of the window as well to help her boyfriend up. "You deserved that," she snapped, while brushing the snow off of him. "That was so stupid – did you _actually_ think they would fall for that? You should have just let them give each other tombstones and wedgies, honestly… boys don't know _anything _about subtlety… " Muttering to herself, Kairi wrapped the scarf around him and shoved the mitts on his hands.

"Kai…" Sora began, still in a daze. Annoyed and exasperated, Kairi responded,

"_What_, Sora?"

"Did you _see _that?!"

"See what?"

"The… they…"

"Threw you out a window? Yeah, well, whaddya _expect_– "

"No! They… they were… _agreeing_! They, like, joined forces or something just to get back at me! They banded together to chuck me out – not _each other_! They tag-teamed it to bring me down! They… _it was awesome_!"

Kairi shook her head, eyes wide at her boyfriend. "Holy _crap_ – they just _threw you into snow_, in the _morning_, in your _pajamas_… and you're thinking about how _they did it together_?! You… you… why couldn't I be dating one of the _normal_ ones… ?" But still, she looked amused, and, to an extent, amazed with her boyfriend. Linking her arm through Sora's, she lead the way back through the living room window.

Sora, still soaking wet and dripping snow, wearing "I'M SORRY" gloves and a "LET'S BE FRIENDS" scarf, collapsed onto his sofa. All right, all right, so maybe it hadn't gone exactly as plan…

… hell, it had been, well, _Hell_…

… but that hadn't been as bad as prior years, right? They… Sora had_ actually _gotten them to… _wow_…

… and besides. Sora wrapped his arms around Kairi, who was now lying on top of him in an effort to keep the poor teenager warm. With a warm sigh, Sora said unfazed,

"Don't worry, Kai – there's always next year, right?" Sora ran his fingers through her hair, and Kairi pressed her head against his chest, sighing. The morning radio show was on, playing, yet again, Christmas songs and Sora could smell pancakes wafting in from the kitchen. Out of the corner of his eyes, Sora saw Riku make his way downstairs, now dressed, and slip in for breakfast as well (shooting Sora a dirty look, to which Sora waved merrily).

"Sure thing, Sora," Kairi replied. "Just… let's try and stay out of public places, huh? And expensive places? And quiet places? And away from fragile stuff? And old stuff? And important stuff? And…"

Sora laughed. "Don't worry… we have a whole year. I'm sure they'll have – "

– _WHAM – _

"Don't_ you _throw syrup at me, asshole!"

"I'm not the one who cried when milk got spilt all over me!"

"I didn't _cry_! I was _pissed_, you friggin'... "

– _SMACK –_

– _THUMP –_

– _CRASH_

– "BOYS!" Sora's mother's voice rang, and the only thing Sora could feel was relief. At least it wasn't him…

" – grown up?" Kairi finished uncertainly. Sora laughed again; somewhat out of fondness, mostly out of hysteria. Covering his eyes with one hand, Sora said,

"I swear, if there's a Santa, I know what _I'm _putting on _my _list for next year…"

Kairi giggled. "Well, merry Christmas anyways, Sora."

Sora kissed her forehead and gave her a tight squeeze. "Merry Christmas to you too, Kai."

* * *

**.mission: suspended (as always) .**

* * *

**A/N:** Hope you liked it… I had fun! Make sure to drop a line. ) Have an awesome holiday!


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